Friday, November 27, 2009

Fears

So, if you read my blog, which I can almost guarantee that no one does, you will notice I haven't written in quite some time. I could give a million excuses, and valid ones at that, but I don't think that lack of time is really the reason for my silence. I think I have been afraid. Afraid of what I have to say, afraid of what people will think of what I have to say. Is it not witty enough? No longer funny? Has my story taken a turn for sadness that no one really wants to read on a daily basis? I mean I had come to expect light humerous pick-me-up writing from this blog, from myself. But when I didn't have anything humerous to say what was left.
Well, I was left. Me. The large part of personality, passion, and occasional crazy that draws people in, or at least makes them stare for a while before they notice Im smiling back. I didn't want to add my troubles to the everyday struggles of others. I also didn't know them well enough to tell them, but now I do. I won't re-cap a years worth of drama, but rather would like to say that Im back. My experiences, as always have helped me grow, and if they slowly seep into my posts, I hope you will learn from them as I have. And yeah, I have learned a lot.
Now, considering I am one of maybe two or three readers, this post is more of a declaration to myself. A promise that I will keep writing. Writing through the fear that no one will read this, that everyone will read this, and that I will actually say what I'm feeling no matter how uprooting the truths of those feelings will be.
So be courageous with me. Pick something you have been trying to do, whether its painting a wall in your house, or writing a letter to someone, or just looking in the mirror... naked, and do it. Do it with me, so that we are not alone. Because facing a fear with someone else, knowing that others are a bit nervous too, can sometimes be all that you need.

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