Time

We are having a big philosophical discussion about calendars and time in my history class. I think the jist of it is that time in numerical terms is a creation of man that depends on when you start it. We could have divided the day into 6 parts or 10 parts if we wanted.

There are all these sayings about time and how it passes and how we divide it. Should we live by all these divisions of time and plan time for fun, for school, for sex, for work, for relaxing? Or should be just try to do a chunk of things each day, or a certain amount of things per month? In today's world, it seems as if failure is eminent if a person doesn't plan for time in some way. We need to meet deadlines, or fit into the lives of others who govern their time based on hours and days. Can we even live based purely on the rotation of the sun: day and night, sunrise and sunset? Or does that idea no longer exist?

Easterners

I met with my coach today. It was really good because I talked to her about being frustrated and wanting to improve, and she was very receptive.

One interesting thing that she brought up, which consequently my professor noticed too, is my sort of laid back personality. She said that she knows that i'm fairly relaxed but that it can come off as if I don't care. I thought this was very interesting, because where I come from, and back home, I was never known that way. I was always pretty fiesty and very outspoken. In the last year, however, I think I've had a lot of experiences that have been very humbling and so now I have a tendency to sit back and do my own thing without making a big show about it. It doesn't mean that I don't work hard, or don't care, I'm just not in other peoples faces about it like most of the people at penn.

This brings me to my main point which is the difference between the east and west parts of the country. I come from a culture that values doing what is necessary, handling stress, and enjoying life as it comes. The emphasis is on bettering yourself as a person, player, or student. Out here, its all about beating the peIrson next to you. In a very strange way, who you are doesn't matter, where as how you look on paper or how you appear to other people is everything. I think I can truely speak for Colorado and Californians when I say that we just don't understand that mentality. I understand how it evolved in the wake of capitalism and competition, but I'm always baffled that people perpetuate this "east coast mentality."

Furthermore, the east coast seems less accepting of thing outside the norm. So here I am, laid back and anything but catagorically normal. I have a fantastic, passionate, fiery side that is one of the best things about me, but when all these people compete with eachother for the spotlight, I feel like its easier to keep my mouth shut and just do what I do. Is this wrong? Should I fight more for a space in this society? I dunno. I don't want to be remembered as quite or just "chill," but it seems silly to play the competitive games that most people play here.

Any thoughts?

I'll catch the next one

Sunday night and I'm sitting in my bed filling out a questionaire about my biggest accomplishments, risks, relationships, and lessons of 2009. Kinda heavy, but in some ways its amazing how little we think about these things. Life shoots by like a subway train that we are constantly trying to stop or get on, but sometimes I think we need to just sit and wait for the next one. Sure maybe we will arrive a few minutes later, but what is late anyway? Its our life, our timeline, and Im glad for the moments that I get to appreciate it.