Easterners

I met with my coach today. It was really good because I talked to her about being frustrated and wanting to improve, and she was very receptive.

One interesting thing that she brought up, which consequently my professor noticed too, is my sort of laid back personality. She said that she knows that i'm fairly relaxed but that it can come off as if I don't care. I thought this was very interesting, because where I come from, and back home, I was never known that way. I was always pretty fiesty and very outspoken. In the last year, however, I think I've had a lot of experiences that have been very humbling and so now I have a tendency to sit back and do my own thing without making a big show about it. It doesn't mean that I don't work hard, or don't care, I'm just not in other peoples faces about it like most of the people at penn.

This brings me to my main point which is the difference between the east and west parts of the country. I come from a culture that values doing what is necessary, handling stress, and enjoying life as it comes. The emphasis is on bettering yourself as a person, player, or student. Out here, its all about beating the peIrson next to you. In a very strange way, who you are doesn't matter, where as how you look on paper or how you appear to other people is everything. I think I can truely speak for Colorado and Californians when I say that we just don't understand that mentality. I understand how it evolved in the wake of capitalism and competition, but I'm always baffled that people perpetuate this "east coast mentality."

Furthermore, the east coast seems less accepting of thing outside the norm. So here I am, laid back and anything but catagorically normal. I have a fantastic, passionate, fiery side that is one of the best things about me, but when all these people compete with eachother for the spotlight, I feel like its easier to keep my mouth shut and just do what I do. Is this wrong? Should I fight more for a space in this society? I dunno. I don't want to be remembered as quite or just "chill," but it seems silly to play the competitive games that most people play here.

Any thoughts?