holy matrimony

Saw my first wedding today. Didn't cry. Almost laughed a few times because some things seem so corny and been there done that. But I guess with weddings, everything has been said before. Nonetheless, the two people who were lucky enough to find eachother and blessed enough to get married today, are two of the kindest people I have ever met. And no matter the dress, or the guests or the ceremony, thats what weddings are truely about. So I must say I was touched, and incredibly overjoyed that wonderful people have found each other.
I remember listening to the vows, the things people say that they will do for the other person for the rest of their lives, and I wonder what those things should be. What are the things that truly matter after 10 years? What is it that is going to be the hardest? The pastor wisely said that it takes a community to make a marriage work. It takes the commitment of two people, but it takes the support of many. I think this is the most true statement of all the advice or toasts or blessings of the evening. Marriage can't possibly be easy. But, I wonder what would make marriage difficult for me. I can't help but wonder if a man would know what he's getting into if he married me. Would the vows have to be special for someone who is different? They say in sickness and in health, but what do most people know of sickness? Do they know how it can wear a person down until all that made them who they are is no longer there? And what about insanity? Does that fall under "sickness"? I can't help but think what trials a marriage will actually face. But I think they stand a much better chance with a community of support, where struggling or difficulties or quarrels are something to talk about rather than hide. Often times I feel as though we fake our way through relationships or fights or fake ourselves into compatibility, but marriage isn't a relationship. Marriage is a life, a choice, and a bond where there is no place for faking or lies. I just can't believe how not ready for marriage I am.